Full Metal Fairy Tale
by dave-d
Summary: Based on a famous bedtime story. Kaname. Sousuke. Wolves. A witch's cabin. A mix of canon, folk tales, and other stuff. [one shot]


Once upon a time there was a young woman who was admired by every one who looked at her.

However, despite her beauty and advanced anatomical development, most boys saw her as an idol. That was fine with her, as she considered most boys to be idiots and jerks.

She had a number of close friends, something that was very much in contrast to her earlier days. Her closest companion was a young with glasses and pigtails: Kyouko Tokiwa. There was nothing that the friends wouldn't do for one another.

Once, Kyouko had given the blue-haired girl a little cap of red velvet, which she constantly wore, even though it didn't match too well with that hair. From that point on, the brighter more popular girl was always called Little Red Riding Hood, when she wasn't referred to as Kaname Chidori, that Bipolar Babe, or other less complimentary nicknames.

One day, the teacher told Riding Hood that Kyouko hadn't shown up at school, and was presumed sick at home. "Come, Little Red Riding Hood, here is a piece of cake and a bottle of wine," Miss Kagurazaka said. "Take them to Miss Tokiwa. No doubt she is ill and weak, and they will do her good."

"Why don't you stop by and visit that guy that Kyouko set you up with, the other day." Maya Mukai's suggestion had all of the girls snickering. They had seen the loser that Little Red Riding Hood had been obliged to go out with.

"**Ooooo-ooo-oo-oh**…" Little Red Chidori clenched her fists, growling. She should let her friend stay at home alone and sick, after having to suffer through that date.

"_Geeee-eee-ee-ez_… she sounds like a wolf or something," Ryo Kojima quipped, even though in those parts, wolves were no laughing matter.

"Miss Chidori, set out before it gets hot." The teacher said. "As you walk, pay no attention to Karate guys, gangsters, or boys named Shirai, and make sure to stay on the path. And, no running. I don't care if you _are_ a star athlete. If you fall and break the bottle, Miss Tokiwa will get nothing."

"Teacher?" Shinji Kazama raised his hand. "Why are you sending wine to Kyouko." He pushed his glasses up on his nose. "That kind of thing might get this story banned, even if the violence and sexual undertones don't."

"Never mind that," Miss Kagurazaka said, sounding somewhat tart. "That's none of _your _concern." She sighed. "I hope we don't have any more boys transferred to this class. They are nothing but trouble! But, what's the chance of _that?" _She turned her attention back to Little Red Riding Hood. "And when you go into Miss Tokiwa's room, don't forget to say 'good-morning,' and don't peep into every corner before you do it."

"I will take great care," said Little Red Riding Hood, tossing her hair. She slapped a halisen against her leg.

Kyouko Tokiwa lived out in the wood, half a league from the village school. Just as Riding Hood entered that dark and foreboding wood, a wolf met her. She did not know what a wicked creature he was, but was not afraid of him one bit.

"Good-day, Little Red Riding Hood," said the wolf. His voice was deep, and there was an insane glint in his eyes. Looking around, he saw too many potential witnesses, and quickly hatched a plan. "Do you think your class might like an all expenses paid school trip to Okinawa?"

"I don't know," Little Red Chidori answered. "They _might." _She frowned. "I would likely be the one responsible for arranging it, as Class Representative. I would probably veto the idea, _unless_ I can find someone willing to handle the garbage detail."

"Shit," the wolf said under his breath. He calmed himself down by thinking about the sound a KGB agent's head made when struck by a hollow point bullet, moments after the man and his companion angered him.

"Did you say something?" Little Red Riding Hood frowned. She worried that the wolf might be a Grade-A creep or something. Her father had told her a cautionary tale about wolves, manned fighting robots, and a submarine.

"It's nothing important," the wolf said, smiling a dangerous smile. He fought the urge to pull a gun and kidnap the Whispered girl there and then. "Whither away so early, young lady?" He grinned, amused by the sound of the words 'Whither away' coming from his own lips.

"To my friend Kyouko's," Kaname said foolishly, adjusting her blood-colored hood. "Kyouko Tokiwa."

"What have you got in your apron?" The wolf sounded suspicious. He wanted to make certain that the girl wasn't some kind of operative. He already had a metal plate affixed to his skull. He had no desire to collect a second.

"Cake and wine," Little Red Riding Hood said, making no mention of the paper fan. "Yesterday was baking-day. This will allow my poor sick friend to have something good to eat, to make her stronger."

"_Huh?" _The wolf shook his head and chuckled. "Cake and wine? Good food for the sick? You must think this is a fairy tale or something." He salivated for a moment, and then stopped. "Be careful… people _die_ in fairy tales…"

"What?" Little Red Chidori took a step back in reflex.

"You don't have to worry, though." The wolf lied. "Nothing _ever_ happens to the heroine." He laughed. "Especially not to a cute girl like you. Heh heh heh…" He pulled off a couple of fleas. "So… by the way… where does your grandmother live, Little Red Riding Hood?"

"Grandmother?" Riding Hood looked at the wolf strangely.

"I'm sorry," the wolf said. "I meant friend." Grandmothers were a staple wolf food, with all of the necessary vitamins and minerals. He had polished off three grandmas that week already. But, they were rather boring. He liked playing with his food.

"Kyouko lives a good quarter of a league farther into this wood," Kaname said. She was so anxious to get to Kyouko's that she didn't think about the fact that she was giving out personal information to a stranger. That's alright. The readers will forgive her. The story wouldn't work if she followed the rules. "Her house stands under the three large oak-trees in the whole forest, with a group of smaller nut trees surrounding the house." She shrugged, tapping one foot against the ground with nervous energy. "It's hard to miss."

The wolf thought to himself: "What a tender looking young piece of fluff. She'd probably make nice plump mouthful and be better eating than some sick girl. Screw the assholes at Amalgam. I'm hungry. They can find another Whispered girl."

So he walked for a short time by the side of Kaname Chidori, and then said, "Look, Little Red Riding Hood, how pretty the flowers are around here." He pointed to a large patch of flowers. "Listen how sweetly the little birds are singing. Why rush to get your errand done, just so you have to go back to some stupid dreary school?" Sick or not, the other girl would make a good appetizer, if he could get there before the hooded chick. Hell, it might be fun, just to torture her to death.

Little Red Riding Hood looked about the wood. She smiled when she saw sunbeams dancing here and there through the trees. When she bent over to smell some flowers, the wolf hesitated from running ahead, taking a moment to stare at her well-rounded tuckus. There were some things he might want to do before chowing down on the blue-haired girl.

"The pretty flowers are growing everywhere," Kaname thought. "I could gather up a large bouquet for Kyouko. _That _ought to brighten her day some. It's early enough for me to still get there in good time." After that, she ran from the path into the wood to look for flowers. And whenever she picked one, she was certain that she saw a prettier one farther on. She kept running deeper and deeper into the forest, collecting her bounty.

Meanwhile, chuckling evilly, the wolf ran straight to the Kyouko Tokiwa's house, wondering if he might need to gun down some parents. He certainly hoped so. He hadn't killed anyone all day. After reconnoitering the vicinity and finding no signs of watchful adults, he approached the small quaint abode and knocked at the door. He smiled, noticing a small placard. The place had been built by the Three Little Pigs Construction Company. How wonderful. He had taken out those three arrogant shits a week ago.

"Who's there?" The stuffy sounding voice was followed by coughing, and the long drawn out sound of someone blowing their nose.

"Little Red Riding Hood," replied the wolf known as Gauron. "I'm bringing cake and wine. Open the door."

"Lift the latch," the girl's voice called out "I'm too weak, and cannot get up."

"Really great security system," the wolf said with a contemptuous grin. "Kind of makes this too easy." He shrugged, and then lifted the latch. "People that cheap or stupid deserve to lose their kid." The door sprang open. Gauron rushed in without saying another word. He went straight to Kyouko's bed and devoured her. Then, he put on her clothes, dressed himself in her cap, drew the curtains shut, and climbed in under the covers. Spying a camera on a nearby bed stand, he reached over and grabbed it, thinking it might make him seem a little more authentic.

"This ought to be enough to make Kyouko smile," Little Red Chidori said, her arms full of fresh blossoms. "I better hurry up, drop things off, and get back to class."

When she made her way to the Tokiwa home, she was surprised to find the cottage-door standing open. When she walked into the main room, she shivered, wondering if something was wrong. She sighed, thinking that she was being paranoid again. Wanting to look cheerful when she saw her friend, she put on a large smile. Kyouko was one of the happy-go-luckiest people that she knew. She had to cheer her up at any cost.

Riding Hood called out, "Good morning," but received no answer. So she walked over and drew back the curtains, letting in the light. Looking over at the bed, she caught sight of Kyouko. For some reason, her bespectacled friend had her cap pulled far over her face. Did she have a really bad zit or something? A rash? In any case, she looked really weird that way. Narrowing her eyes, she caught sight of something else puzzling.

"Hey Ky," she said. "What big ears you have."

"The better to hear you with, Kana-chan," was the reply.

"But Ky, what big crazy eyes you have," she said.

"The better to see you with, my dear." The wolf hadn't disguised his voice too well, but still seemed to have fooled the red-capped girl.

"You stink!" Kaname blushed, letting that slip out. But, it was true. There was a distinctly nasty and musky smell in the room.

"I'm too sick to walk to the shower," Gauron said. "I think I have a glandular problem, too."

"Oh. Sorry." Little Red Chidori ran a hand through her hair, almost knocking her hood off. "But what about your bed slippers. _Sheeee-eee-ee-esh_…" She looked down at the boots that were barely covered by the top quilt. "They look like boots, Ky. Something a soldier or military freak might wear."

"Orthopedic shoes," was the answer, punctuated by a loud cough. "I've got bunions."

"That's really tough," Kaname said, imaging how she might feel with foot problems. "But Ky, what large hands you have."

"The better to put those big boots on with," Gauron replied.

"Huh?" Riding Hood tugged at her hair a bit. " I guess so." She wrinkled up her nose. "I don't want to be rude, but you've got a _really_ big mouth." She couldn't remember her friend having that many teeth before. Maybe she was having dental issues, too.

**"The better to eat you with!" **With one bound, the wolf was out of bed. He swallowed up Little Red Riding Hood, even though that was an anatomic impossibility and stained the bounds of believability.

When the wolf had appeased his appetite, he though about torching the place. Instead, yawning, he lay down again in the bed and fell asleep. He began to snore very loudly.

A young member of a secret mercenary organization, dressed in the guise of a huntsman, walked through the wooded area, shadowed by a comrade in a cloaked Arm Slave, and directed by a foul-mouthed woman sitting back at the base camp, speaking between mouthfuls of beer and canned crab.

"I do _not_ like this mission," Sgt. Sousuke Sagara said. "The huntsman part is not so bad. I can carry a weapon while playing that role." He made a face. "I know nothing about being a high school student."

"But you saw the picture of Angel," Sgt. Kurz Weber said, looking at the picture of Little Red Riding hood stuck to the side of the M6's cabin. "If you want, I'll look after Miss Chidori and her friend. I'll pretend to be a lost foreigner in need of help." He affected a terrible French accent. "I'm like a lost kit-_tay_…"

"**Shit!" **An irritated voice came over their communicators. **"**Cut the chatter, you two," Sgt. Major Mao said to her subordinates. The sound of a match being lit could be heard over the headsets of the two soldiers. The base camp would be smelling like cigarette smoke when they got back.

"She wants me," Kurz said in a secure channel to Sousuke.

"Negative," Sousuke said. "I remember how she responded to you, back at the training camp, before she added us to her team." He cut off any response from his lanky companion by saying "I am picking up loud sounds of snoring from inside the cottage. It does _not_ sound like a young woman's noise. We may have a hostage situation."

"Sousuke, don't go in that house," Melissa Mao ordered. "I have radioed for support. A rescue team dressed as U.N. soldiers should be arriving in no time. You are ordered to stand by."

"What do you bet that our young hero doesn't rush to the rescue, so that he can win the gratitude of the beautiful damsel in distress?" Kurz chuckled.

"Not Sousuke," Melissa claimed. "He's not like you. He's a good soldier. He won't put personal gain ahead of duty."

"Uh huh," Kurz said, smirking. "That's why he just opened the front door and walked in." Mao's response cannot be printed in a fan-fiction story.

The young operative entered the house as if he was rushing into a terrorist headquarters or the meeting room of a South American drug cartel. When he made his way to the bed, he found the wolf was lying in it.

The wolf snapped awake. Sitting up in bed, it stared at the boy's face. Then, a look of recognition came to its eyes. "Kashim, it's great to see you."

Sousuke froze. He could never forget that face. He thought that the man was dead, the victim of his sniper shot.

"Wonder how I could still be alive?" The wolf tapped his forehead. "Titanium plate. Lucky for me, your shot angle was shallow." He laughed. "You here to save the girl? Too late! I was given a wonderful job. My so-called bosses told to play around in her mind. It's a treasure chest of Black technology." He made his way to his feet. "I see you don't know what that is." He used a wicked looking combat knife to pick at his teeth. "Doesn't matter now… I was too hungry… so I ate her."

"You should have brought a better weapon," Sousuke said, bringing his TMP around. "Do not think that your annoying ability to survive near fatal attacks will serve you here today. Not in _this _story."

"You think you can stop me, Honey?" The wolf sat back on its haunches, grinning.

"Affirmative," Sousuke answered. Just as he was going to fire at Gauron, it occurred to him that the wolf might have devoured the missing girls. Instead, he grappled with his arch-foe. The two of them stumbled about the room locked in combat, as if they were trying to maintain their footing on the deck of a ship at sea. "This would have been much simpler if you had remained asleep." He wondered why this wasn't going the way the original story did.

"I love you, Kashim!" The wolf laughed maniacally as Sousuke opened his belly, spilling out a living Kaname and Kyouko.

"Kashim is dead!" Sousuke watched as the wolf ran off, entrails stringing out behind it. There was no way he would survive that. **"Shit head!"**

"That was scary," Little Red Chidori said, looking around the room. "The worst part was the damn knife almost slicing my throat. What idiot used that, instead of the pair of scissors the fairy tale called for?"

"I am Sergeant Sousuke Sagara," Sousuke said. "Excuse me. Forget that 'Sergeant' part."

"Where are you from, Sousuke," Kyouko managed to say between coughs. "What kind of hobbies do you like? Which musical groups?" She began looking for her camera.

"I am from "Afghanistan, Lebanon, Cambodia, Iraq..." The young soldier mentioned other nations. "I enjoy fishing and readings books." He listed military journals, including one Jane's publication. "Uhhh…" He swallowed hard. What were those groups that he was supposed to like? "I am a fan of Kadoakawa Gorou and the Suppin Girls."

"**Yuck!" **Little Red Riding Hood made a face. "A military otaku…" Then, she narrowed her eyes and glared at her rescuer. "Why are you here? At this house, I mean?"

"It is merely coincidence," the young Mithril sergeant said.

"Why did you attack the wolf, unless you thought that he might have eaten the person who lived in this house?" Kaname gave the young man with a scar on his face an annoyed look.

"That _too_ was coincidence, Miss Chidori." Sousuke stood stiff, as if he was being reviewed by a commanding officer.

"You expect me to _buy_ that?" Kaname frowned, pulling at her hood. "And how do you know my name."

"Coincidence," Sousuke said.

"**Oooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-oh**…" Kaname thanked Kyouko when the smaller girl handed her the halisen. She scowled when her friend told her that she almost sounded like a wolf. "Why me?" She wondred why she suddenly had the urge to toss the boy in front of a taxi cab.

"I cannot tell you that now," Sousuke said, knowing that he couldn't reveal his true identity yet, and had no business telling the girl that she was one of the Whispered. "I will, however, inform you that you are very fortunate. The Grimm Brothers did not simply write down the exact words of an oral storyteller. They conflated their tale from three sources: a French tale, _Le petit chaperon rouge_, by Charles Perrault… an oral version by Jeanette Hassenpflug… and a play, _Leben und Tod des kleinen Rotkäppchens: eine Tragödie_, by Ludwig Tieck." He looked over at Kyouko, who was taking pictures of Little Red Chidori's face. "In Perrault's version, the girl is eaten because of her stupidity."

"Stupidity?" Kaname clenched her teeth and squeezed the paper fan in her fist.

"Affirmative," Sousuke said. "Foolish and ill thought behavior."

"Ill thought behavior?" Little Red Riding Hood's eyes narrowed. She twitched.

"Correct," the young operative said. "There was no happy ending to _that_ version of the tale. It was Tieck who later added a rescuer. Even the smallest of children should be know that it is wrong to speak to strangers." Hearing a growling noise, he assumed a combat stance, bringing his TMP up. Looking around the home, he found no sign of additional wolves.

Kyouko still felt very ill; but, watching the interplay between her friend and the interesting young man who had rescued them did a great deal to lift her spirits.

"A clever woman realizes that all wolves are _not_ of the same sort," Sousuke continued.. "Those with even a small bit of common sense will know that there are those that seem to have an amenable disposition. They are not noisy, hateful, or angry. Instead, they appear tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes." He used the barrel of the submachine gun to open a large coat closet. It was empty, except for coats. "Intelligent women will know that the 'gentle' wolves are the most dangerous."

"I… you…" Little Red Riding Hood drew back her arm. "I should call my Fairy godmother and have her turn you into a pumpkin or something." She pursed her lips, imagining the gun-toting boy as a dog on a leash.

"**Kana-chan!" **Kyouko's call saved Sousuke from being struck by the irate young woman. "You should thank Sousuke for rescuing us." She took out the piece of cake and held it out to Sousuke. "Cake?"

"This is the part of the story that you promise, as long as you live, to never again leave the path by yourself, swearing to listen to the lessons your mother once taught you." Sousuke shook his head when Kyouko held up the wine bottle. "In case you forgot."

"I… did… _not_… forget…" Little Red Chidori began turning red in the face.

"I see," Sousuke said. "Then, there may be another reason for your forgetting to say such things." He stared at the red-hooded girl for a moment. "There are many interpretations of the classic fairy tale. One has to do with Prostitution. The story may be seen as a classic warning against becoming a working girl. This builds off of the fundamental 'young girl in the woods' stereotype. The red cloak was a classic signal of a prostitute in 17th century France."

"**Oooooo-oooo-ooo-oo-oh**…" Kaname shook off Kyouko's hand, causing her friend to slosh wine on her nightshirt. It looked like a bloodstain.

"I do not know if that noise was supposed to be seductive." The young soldier swallowed hard. He was anything but worldly when it came to women, despite the fact that he had hung around with mercenaries and freedom fighters since he was eight years old. He wondered why the pig-tailed girl was smiling and taking so many flash photographs.

Kyouko was having so much fun, she considered getting sick on a routine basis. Riding Hood was fast on her way towards a emotional eruption.

"Ummm… sexual awakening is another possible interpretation…" Sousuke felt his throat growing thick. "The story has also been seen as a parable of sexual maturity. One could view the red cloak as symbolizing the… ummm… menstrual cycle." He took a few steps back instinctively, hearing the growling noise again. "The entry into puberty is like braving the 'dark forest' of womanhood. The wolf with a man's features can be seen as a sexual predator." he coughed to clear his throat. "In old French slang, when a girl lost her virginity it was said that _elle avoit vû le loup_… she had seen the wolf."

"Are you saying that you think _I _might be the kind of girl who would get involved in _Enjo kosai?_" Kaname's eyes flashed. "You think that _I_ might be one of those girls who sell themselves to buy designer fashions like Burberry scarves and Chanel handbags?" Her fingernails dug into her palms. "You're saying that _I _probably came out here all alone to pick up some guy?" She had reached the point of no return. Nothing the boy might say would save him. His guilt or innocence did _not_ matter.

"I bet the boys _do _think you're cute in that hood and all," Kyouko added in her usual helpful fashion.

"I do not have sufficient knowledge to…" Sousuke bit his tongue when the halisen descended with tremendous force. The red-capped girl had left her feet with the swing.

"**BAKA!"**

The resounding 'thwappp' could be heard a fair distance off into the forest. Sitting inside his Arm Slave, external microphones turned up to high gain, Kurz Weber smiled, put his hands behind his head, and leaned back to enjoy the show.

"_**JERK!"**_

Another tremendous impact sent small forest animals scurrying for cover. A number of different wolves changed directions and began looking for safer prey. All except for one who was dating a girl named Mizuki.

"**P-E-R-V-E-R-T-!"**

Kyouko took picture after picture, too busy with her camera to wince when she saw the force with which her friend was beating the hapless young man. Privately, she hoped that Sousuke Sagara would find his way to Jindai High School. He would be good for Kaname. She might not be all that good for _him, _however.

"You stand there saying those kinds of things about me…" Kaname swung the halisen as if it were a baseball bat. For a moment, she wished she had a base to throw at him. "… But I bet you're the kind of loser who would steal my panties off the wash line… open the door to the girl's locker room… or put his hand on my breast after pushing me out of the way of a speeding truck…"

"No… wait… I…" Sousuke grew a bit wobbly on his feet. He had been in fights much graver than this one. But, in those, he had been able to defend himself. The constant bombardment his head was taking left him seeing strange visions:

_He was on a bicycle. The Whispered girl was seated behind him. They were being chased by an insane police woman behind the wheel of a black-and-white. The two of them were descending from a mansion high on a cliff overlooking the sea, her holding on to him, and he maintaining a firm grip on a large balloon. The was a man with the head of a pony… an amusement park mascot that looked like a bear or a mouse or a chipmunk… a carp in a school pond._

Nature often follows its course. For Sousuke Sagara… aka Urzu 7... that meant weathering some kind of brutal attack, and then walking away when other men would have been left dead or severely maimed. For Kaname Chidori… Little Red Riding Hood… it meant venting her anger and frustration, and later making a complete turn around.

As it turned out, the young soldier was _indeed_ assigned to class 2-4 at Jindai High School. The Whispered girl did her best to try and help him adjust to the foreign environment, while finding it difficult to keep her cool during his otaku antics. In the classic bedtime story, the girl in the red cap and her grandmother had another run in with a wolf. So too did our hero and heroine.

Visiting Kyouko on another occasion, and once again carrying a basket of cakes, Little Red Chidori came across a much more crafty and handsome wolf. This wolf ignored all attempts at subterfuge. Instead, he saved her from henchmen sent by the first wolf. Then, he stole her first kiss. After that, he did his best to try and entice her from the path.

On her guard this time, Riding Hood went straight on her way, telling Kyouko what had happened. "He's handsome… and very smooth…" She sighed. "But the jerk kissed me without my permission!" She stamped her foot, causing the china bowls on Kyouko's shelf to roll closer to the edge. "The look in his eyes… it was as if he thought he owned me…" Shivering, she bit her lip. "If we hadn't been on a public road… I wonder if he might have tried to… _you know_…" Her face grew red and warm.

"Here," Kyouko said, throwing a big latch on the door. "Let's make sure he can't get in." She looked worried, even though the door was stout and well made. "We certainly don't want him to… you know…" She blushed too. "I also don't want him to use me as a hostage, trying to get you to do what he wants." Not too much later, there was a knock at the door. "M-… M-… Maybe it's Sousuke…" Kyouko swallowed hard. "Or maybe one of our friends."

"It _can't_ be Sousuke," Little Red Riding Hood said. "We didn't hear anything blow up." The way she spoke made it sound like the young soldier was the last person she wanted to see. But, deep inside, she wished he was nearby.

"Open the door, Kyouko." The wolf's voice was a good imitation of Little Red Chidori's. "It's me… Riding Hood…and I'm bringing you some cakes."

The two girls huddled together, keeping quiet. Realizing that his ploy hadn't worked, the wolf snuck around the house a number of times, the wind causing the long black suit he wore to move about as if it were alive. At one point, he walked brazenly up to a window and looked inside.

"What are you doing at my cottage!" Kyouko called out. She wished she knew where her father kept his hunting rifle. **"Go away!"**

"You know… you might look very nice draped with explosives…" The wolf known as Leonard smiled as it spoke to a frightened Kyouko. Turning to stare at Little Red Riding Hood, he said "Am I really any worse than that boy you hang around?" He clearly meant Sousuke. "Pretending to be a huntsman… trying to fit in as a student… he's far more dishonest than I am." He smiled, showing perfect teeth. "Do you have any idea of how many people he's killed?"

"It doesn't matter!" Kaname began feeling the first pangs of doubt.

"_Really?" _The wolf chuckled in a purposefully irritating fashion. "Some of the wolves in this forest have gotten a very bad reputation. One man-killer has taken more than thirty lives." He smiled. "But, young mister Sagara has taken more than three times that many himself. Still, people like him. Yourself included. It doesn't seem fair."

"I said I don't care!" Little Red Chidori said. She didn't want to hear any more.

"You're already a genius, you know. You're one of the chosen," the wolf said to the hooded girl. "Don't the slow-witted people bother you? Why don' t you come away with me? You'll be safe. My organization had finally decided to get serious. There's a place for you."

"**Just get out!" **Kaname shouted.

"So cold," Leonard said. He vanished from view. Without the girls seeing, he jumped on the roof, intending to wait until Little Red Riding Hood went home in the evening. He would steal after her and capture her in the darkness.

"I… I… I bet he's just hiding somewhere nearby…" Kyouko had correctly judged the wolf's intent. "He could be up on the roof."

"_Great," _Kaname said. "I won't be safe anywhere around guys like that."

"In front of the house, there's a huge stone trough," Kyouko said, trying to think of some kind of plan. "Take the pail over there. I'll put water in it, some I was using to boil sausages earlier. No matter how smart a wolf is, he won't be able to resist _that."_

"Well, we have to try _something, _Ky." Little Red Riding Hood did as Kyouko suggested. Soon the smell of sausages wafted up from the great trough, which was filled deep with rain water and the contents of the bucket.

The wolf sniffed at the air, and then peeped over the edge of the roof, trying to see where the delectable odor was coming from. He stretched his neck further and further out, leaning more and more. His footing began to slip. Before he knew it, he slid off of the cottage, headed straight for the trough.

Leonard would have drowned, if it wasn't for his miraculous black suit. It flicked its fabric out quickly, deflecting him from the trough. Seeing that, Kyouko's face fell. "It worked in the story," she claimed.

"Now would be a very good time for Sergeant Slow Poke to show up," Kaname muttered under her breath. "Big stupid head."

Sure enough, the young Mithril operative was looking for Little Red Chidori that very moment. Approaching the small house, he froze, frowning. He recognized that wolf. He also caught sign of two large metallic objects shaped like wolves: Arastols. Not waiting for any command from Melissa Mao, he raised his pistol and fired. There was a barely visible flicker. The black suit had saved Leonard again.

"**Damn it!" **Sousuke clenched his teeth.

"Stay cool, Sousuke old man." Kurz laughed over the com-link, his M9 parked somewhere outside of the clearing. "Here. Try this. Repeat after me: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers; a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked; if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?"

"**Shut up Weber!" **Melissa followed that up with a collection of ear-shattering curses.

"Raise your hands," Sousuke called out to Leonard. He scowled, remembering how hard it had been to finally get rid of Gauron. What _was_ it about wolves, anyway? "If you don't follow these orders I'll…"

"Shoot me?" Leonard asked. "You already tried that. You seem to be quite the excellent assassin, but…" He smiled a wolfish smile, feeling as if he was in complete control. "I know that you're the girl's watchdog. But, do you think you can restrain yourself a little, while she and I have a little chat?"

"I'll show you who's a watchdog," Sousuke growled, tightening the grip on his pistol. He wondered just how many bullets in succession that mysterious clothing might be able to actively deflect.

"Sousuke!" Kaname opened the door to the cottage and shouted. "What's taking you so long?"

Sousuke sighed. Always with the yelling. But, at least she was supporting his actions. He had been certain that she was going to tell him to act more civilized. Women! It was so hard to predict what they might say or do.

"There's no rush," Leonard said, licking his long silver fur. "There's nothing he can do." He smiled and waved his hand in a dismissive fashion. "I will get what I want. My organization will act decisively, seeing that Mithril has gone too far." He took a few steps towards the trough, his wolfish nature in control. Exerting his will, he stopped moving. He was not about to slurp at the trough with them watching. "You destroyed a fair number of our Arm Slaves. You took down the _Pacific Chrysalis, _and gathered a lot of information in the process. That was after you survived the trouble in Hong Kong, which was started by that rogue wolf 'Mister Iron'."

Sousuke frowned. He knew that Gauron had been Mr. Iron. He also knew that the business at Perio Island had also been an attempt by Amalgam to limit Mithril's abilities by taking out the TDD-1. He wondered why the rival organization was relying entirely on technology. With their resources, they ought to be able to find some kind of magic to get the job done quickly and decisively. It was probably beyond their control. People like cheerful endings. They don't want to see the bad guys win in the end.

"He was really fond of you, it seems." Leonard added, again referring to Gauron. That had Sousuke looking angry. "Next, you guys will be exposing the businesses, countries, mafias, and terrorist organizations that work for Amalgam. That would be rather inconvenient, I'm afraid." He smiled. "So, we'll crush Mithril, and kidnap the girl."

"Sousuke, he's important to all of their plans. Take him out, and we might not have to go through all that organization destroyed… Whispered girl leaves voluntarily to save boy… hero goes off on his own to bring her back… kind of stuff !" Melissa Mao's command came over Sousuke's headset.

"I came by to speak with the girl, because I love her." The wolf chuckled. That ought to get them all in a tizzy. "I can offer her more than a killer like you _ever_ could."

"I like the life I have now. I have no intention of going with you." Little Red Riding Hood said. "Besides, like I told you earlier, I hate you!"

"Are you still angry about that?" Leonard smiled, making reference to the kiss he had stolen earlier.

"**Get out of here!" **Little Red Chidori shouted, shaking her fist.

"_Sousuke!" _Mao said. "What are you waiting for? Take a javelin missile and blow that shit head into the next story. We're moving in. The Arastols are ours."

"But… Lieutenant… I can't shoot him with a missile, now." He looked over at Leonard, who was preening like he was the King of the World. Arrogant smug bastard! "That wouldn't be canon…"

"**_F-ck _canon!" **Melissa replied. "This is a f-cking fairy tale, not the motherf-cking manga or anime."

"That's right,"Kurz put in. "In the manga and anime, I never had a chance to bang Sis like a gong…"

Sousuke had to pull the headset off after that. Shaking his head, he looked under a group of large shrubs and found a conveniently placed Javelin portable anti-tank weapon. He brought the Command Launch Unit up to his shoulder and sighted through the integrated day sight and thermal imaging unit.

"You wouldn't…" The wolf suddenly broke into an unseemly sweat. That perspiration was a rather significant defeat in itself.

"Yes he would!" Kaname rubbed her hands together, eager to see Sousuke give someone else a hard time for a change.

"There will be no 'happy ever after' for you," Sousuke said. He placed a cursor box over Leonard's image and sent a lock-on-before-launch command to the missile. When the system was locked-on, he fired. "All the king's horses and all the king's men will not be able to put _you_ back together again." A soft launch ejected the missile from the launch tube. Once the missile was clear, the propellant in the second stage ignited and the projectile sped towards a resigned looking wolf.

"Shit…" Leonard said. His suit trembled and went still. There was nothing it could do about the twelve kilogram missile or its eight kilogram tandem shaped charge

**B-O-O-M**

Small tufts of silver fur rained down from the sky, looking all the world like a glittering snowfall. A large fluffy wolf tail lay draped over the branches of the highest tree, a toy to be played with by a group of feisty young squirrels. Blood covered the front of the small cottage, and dripped from both Kaname and Kyouko. The one girl sat down hard, trembling too hard to clean off her blood spattered glasses. The other girl, whose clothing matched her hood, clenched her fists and shouted:

"**SOUS-_KAAAAA-AAAA-AAA-AA-AY…"_**

"Uhhh… Kaname…" The young SRT member readied himself for some kind of verbal onslaught.

"Good job!" Little Red Riding Hood gave Sousuke a 'V' sign. The white teeth in her smile and the whites of her eyes stood out in stark contrast from her red-coated face.

"_Urrrrr-rrrr-rrr-rr-r…" _Kyouko sounded sick. There was a good chance that she might need to see a therapist after that ending, which was a bit gruesome even for a Fairy tale.

The three of them stopped to stare for a moment as one M9 ran close on the heal of another, their external speakers still turned on. The sexy taunts coming from one A.S., and the colorful curses emanating from the other, had every mother creature in the forest putting her paws or tail over the ears of her offspring. In passing, the Gernsbacks successfully took out the two robots perched near the cottage chimney.

When Little Red Chidori had cleaned herself off, and safety tucked a rather frazzled Kyouko in bed, she set off with Sousuke towards Mithril's newest safe house in that neck of the woods. On their way, they passed by a home made from a large shoe, and another made from an enormous pumpkin shell. When they caught sight of a stupendous beanstalk, which seemed to stretch beyond the clouds, Sousuke stopped and ran his hand over a sign attached to its side: 'A21.'

"I have the feeling that there is some kind of giant up there," he said. Squinting, he thought he caught a glimpse of something large and red. "Perhaps I should…"

"Just leave it alone, Sousuke." Kaname sounded adamant. Looking off to one side as she walked, she caught sight of a boy and girl rolling down a hill, followed by a bucket. She wondered what _that_ was all about.

"What about the large spider…" Sousuke pointed over to where a little girl had been sitting on a large clump of grass, eating a bowl of something, before a huge hairy arachnid had sat down beside her.

"No!" Little Red Riding Hood said firmly. "It's none of our business." She grabbed his arm and tugged him along. As they made their way along the forest path, she began humming some of Mother Goose's nursery rhymes.

"I know one of those," Sousuke mentioned as he walked beside her. "Melissa taught it to me. Little Tom Tucker, he was a real mother---"

"**SOUSUKE!"**

Riding Hood's shout sent birds to the wing and deer running for the nearest thicket. "That's not how it goes," she said, kicking Sousuke in the shin. "The next line is 'Sing for your supper', you big idiot."

"I will let _you_ tell her that," Sousuke said. "I suppose the one Kurz taught me also incorrect." He sighed. "Hickory dickory dock, Mao sucked on my---"

"_**B-A-K-A-!"**_

"It's…" Kaname smacked Sousuke hard with the halisen. "The mouse…" She kicked him in the shin again. "Ran up…" That was followed by another swat. "The clock."

"We are almost there," a bruised and battered Sousuke told Riding Hood. As the two of them watched, a beautiful snow-white bird sat on a bough, singing delightfully. When its song was over, it spread its wings and flew away, landing on the roof of a little house.

As Little Red Chidori approached the house, she saw that it was built of bread and covered with cakes, and had windows made of clear sugar. "Seems to me that I've heard a story about a house like this…"

"You probably have," Sousuke replied. He broke off a little piece of the roof and handed it to Kaname to snack on.

"Nibble, nibble, gnaw. Who is nibbling at my little house?" A young woman's voice called out from inside the house.

"The wind, the wind," Sousuke answered, completing the code phrase correctly. "The heaven-born wind."

As Little Red Riding Hood pulled out a section of window pane to munch on, the front door suddenly opened. A young girl on crutches, her hair platinum in color and done up in a thick ponytail, shambled outside to great them. She smiled, seeing Sousuke.

"Great," Little Red Chidori mumbled, seeing that it was Teletha Testarossa. "At least she's not dressed in a towel _this_ time." Looking down at her feet, she realized that they would have to tell her about Leonard.

"Sergeant Sagara, there's plenty of milk, pancakes, sugar, apples, and nuts left over from the previous occupant." By that, she was referring to the wicked witch who had made it a habit of luring children to her tempting house, and then killing them, cooking them, and eating them. "Why don't you go inside without us."

"As you wish, Captain." Sousuke did as he was instructed.

"I just thought I should tell you something," Tessa said to Kaname, tugging on her ponytail. "I think I may have fallen in love with a certain sergeant." She smirked, seeing the look on the other Whispered girl's face. "May the best woman win…"

Little Red Riding Hood could place the story now. Hansel and Gretel. She had heard the story from the girl herself:

Gretel and her brother had been caught by the witch, and told that she intended to eat them when they fattened up. When the old woman tried to get Gretel to climb into the oven to be cooked, the girl tricked her, saying 'I do not know how I am to do it; how do I get in?' The witch had said 'Silly goose, the door is big enough; just look, I can get in myself!' When she crept up and thrust her head into the oven, Gretel gave her a push that drove her far into it, and shut the iron door, and fastened the bolt. The witch howled horribly and was burnt to death.

"Why don't you show me what kind of oven this place has," Kaname said sweetly.

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**THE END**


End file.
